I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
