just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
