somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
