so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All the doctor said was why
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
