His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
