some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
