He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
