friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
