I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
