Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
