You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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