I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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