it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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