Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
