I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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