come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
