Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
