I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
