Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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