I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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