she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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