State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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