We're facebook friends in real life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
this hospital has no fireball
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
