so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize