why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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