ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
