so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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