be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
