I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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