So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
