I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is classic penis vs brain.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
