Me too!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i will never coherently bang her
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
