Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
