don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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