i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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