i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
