Ambien. No doubt about it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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