Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
