bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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