Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
