so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
