awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
