i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
