I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
