He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
