I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
