WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
