Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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