I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
