I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
