Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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