do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
