My friends, they love my intelligence
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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